After 4 days of rain out here in Montauk, vacationers were getting a little anxious. The yoga studios were packed, the mini-golf course was jammed even as a light drizzle streamed down on the players. The movie theaters were mobbed and all the local pizza spots in town were bursting at the seams. It is summer after all. Everyone out here is craving the beach, the sun and the ocean. On the 4th day of rain, I decided to check out Gurney’s Inn – a favorite spot of the locals out here year round. The first weekend I was here this summer, a group of locals told me how in the winter they ride their bikes to Gurney’s Inn and spend the day at the indoor saltwater pool swimming and enjoying the jacuzzi, steam room and the sauna. There is a rumor that even during a snowstorm, locals pull out their bikes and snow goggles and will ride to Gurney’s in a few inches of snow to take advantage of the fitness center and an off-season massage. Actually, it’s not a rumor. One lovely couple that I met this summer don’t own a car and operate purely by bicycle year round. This winter, while her boyfriend was surfing in the snow, Isabelle took the snow goggles that Dennis got for her and ventured out on her daily ride over to Gurney’s…in the snow. Is that an image or what? I love this couple. It’s a 6 mile ride, roundtrip! After hearing so much about this Inn, I decided that I wanted to check the place out and see what all the hype was about. So I headed over to Gurney’s on Wednesday for a few hours. Gurney’s is beautifully situated on a cliff overlooking the ocean along Old Montauk Highway. The Inn is nestled between some beautiful estates (one of which was formerly owned by Bernie Madoff) along a beautiful stretch of beach. Upon arriving at the Inn, I’m pretty sure I found half of the population vacationing in Montauk this week at the resort. The sun popped out for a few hours, luring everyone down to a comfy lounge chair on the beach. Unlike some of the other beaches out here in Montauk, characterized by a more rocky shoreline, this stretch of beach was sandy and stretched for miles. I’m pretty sure I could walk to the neighboring town, just along the beach.

Anyway, next time you’re in Montauk and stuck with a rainy day, consider spending a few hours at Gurney’s Inn. The saltwater pool and the indoor jacuzzi, sauna and steam room are a nice rejuvenating break from a gray day. And if you have a rainy day collection in one of your piggy banks, a massage just might be a nice treat too. The massages are not like the experience at Parrot Cay (probably the best massage I’ve EVER had), but hey they’re not bad either. Hope you all have a great weekend.

This morning I woke up to a beautiful, cooler, almost fall-like morning in Montauk. The skies were a little overcast, but the light on the marina was just beautiful. I grabbed my camera and headed out to the docks to observe some of the beautiful light and a bit of the activity on the docks. It reminded me of when I was growing up and would head out sailing with friends in the very early summer mornings. In general, boatmen and women wake up early out here, usually by 5 or 5:30am. Second mugs of coffee were in hand by the time I arrived at the docks, breakfast muffins were finished and the days work washing up the boats or heading out for an early morning cruise were in full swing. On my way back I ran into Bethenny Frankel’s dog Cookie who was out roaming around and enjoying the cooler morning as well. Over the past few weeks out here in Montauk Ms. Frankel and a few of the crew from the Real Housewives of New York City have been floating around. Kelly Rutherford, from Gossip Girl, and her parents were also around recently in conjunction with a photo shoot for Hamptons magazine, in which Ms. Rutherford appeared on the cover. I’ve also seen Ralph Lauren and his family cruising around town frequently in an old school Land Rover. It’s a super cool, ivory colored truck just like one you might find on the plains of Africa…but instead of wild tigers surrounding the truck you can usually catch a casual group of surfers heading out to the ocean to grab what has been a tremendous summer of waves.

Hope you all are having a nice week.

This summer, as many of you know, I have been having a blast out in the Hamptons. My husband and I have been spending lots of time in the ocean surfing, cruising around meeting up with new friends, taking in some beautiful sunsets, and enjoying some good food and great music. This summer there have been some awesome concerts out here at the Surf Lodge in Montauk. This little waterside spot blows up on the weekends. Recently, Donavon Frankenreiter was out in Montauk surfing with friends, having fun and playing some great music. A video celebrating his recent trip here pretty much sums up the awesome energy and fun we all have been having out here. And if you look closely in this video of Donavon surfing and playing his guitar you may just catch a glimpse of me and my husband chilling out on our surfboards nearby. It was a super fun Saturday. Hope you can come visit. I love this place.

Donavon Frankenreiter’s “Mustache Manifesto”

Innovative interpretations of exercise this summer out in Montauk has me inspired. The locals, as well as the regular weekend-warriors, are in some pretty fantastic shape. The most interesting thing about the “scene” out there you ask? Hardly anyone ever steps into a gym. They are in the water or on their bikes as often as possible, instead. They are just keeping active outside, and in the meantime having fun.

This summer, take advantage of the ocean, bay, pond or lake near you. Strap on a pair of fins and grab a kickboard or a boogie board. In between building sandcastles with your little ones on the beach, or catching a few rays of sunshine, hop in the water and use your fins and board for 20-30 swift kicks whenever you get a few minutes. It’s a non-intimidating way to get into the water, and enjoy a little exercise.

With how easy and refreshing this feel-good, water-filled journey is, I hope to see ya in the water.

Escape for a weekend to this beautiful inn in East Hampton to relax and recharge. I love this place.
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A few of you (including my wonderful friend Carolyn from yoga, hope to see you soon Carolyn!) have asked for a recommendation or two on where to stay out here in The Hamptons. One place that I love to suggest to people is a bed and breakfast in East Hampton called the Mill House Inn. I love this inn as an escape during the high summer season, and even as an escape in the winter.

The Mill House Inn is one of Eastern Long Island’s top inns and has been rated one of the “Top 10 Hamptons Inns” by New York Magazine. Nationally, Zagat has also placed the inn on its “Top 50 Small Hotels” list in the U.S.

From the moment you arrive at the inn’s inviting website, through until your arrival at the inn, you’re bound to feel the special, intimate nature of this bed and breakfast that has won it so many top accolades. The inn has 6 suites and 4 rooms, each with its own unique charm meticulously crafted by owner Sylvia Muller and her husband Gary. Sylvia and her husband live full time at the inn and are active in assisting guests to ensure a most pleasant and enjoyable stay. If you’ve never been to The Hamptons before, East Hampton is a real treat to experience. Yes, East Hampton, from its earliest days has had a reputation as being a home for the wealthy and residences in town are often in architectural magazines….but there is so much more than that. It is a photographer and artist paradise with miles of long white sandy beaches, pristine ponds and sparkling inlets, beautiful farm land and fabulous hiking trails. East Hampton’s Main Beach was in fact recently listed as one of the country’s Top 10 Beaches. It’s an idyllic place.

Enjoying these beautiful photos? Check out more pictures of East Hampton from Sylvia Muller, here.

More About Gary and Sylvia Muller

Gary and Sylvia Muller’s love for the Hamptons began many years ago in Montauk, where they owned a summer home and spent time on weekends. Sylvia, involved in business development for the television industry in New York, and Gary a chef and restauranteur, would often bring their computers to their home in Montauk so they could stay out East for extended weekends. Finally, after many years of dreading the return to New York City on Monday mornings, they decided to pursue their dreams of owning a country inn. As a chef and restauranteur, Gary had always wanted a country inn. And Sylvia with her skills in marketing and business development was excited to help with this project. Their search for an inn began in Vermont and in the Adirondacks, when what is now The Mill House Inn became available for sale. The rest is history. Today, July 30th, Gary and Sylvia are celebrating their 11 year anniversary at the inn.

More About The Inn

I personally think the relaxed elegance and luxury of the inn is best celebrated through pictures. Here are a few pictures which capture the Inn’s beautiful, relaxed elegance.

What To Expect During Your Stay

Syliva works diligently to keep guests up to date on the weekly “goings-on” about town. So if you are looking to explore the area, and want to take in as much of the local happenings as possible, you will not be disappointed.

• In general, with the Inn situated in a quiet residential neighborhood, you can expect to find a relaxing oasis to escape to in your room. Snuggle up in the big cozy beds with a good book, take a soothing bubble bath or stroll into town to seek out some fun.
• Consider a bike ride to nearby East Hampton Village beaches which have just been rated as one of the country’s Top 10 Beaches and check out some of the beautiful homes along the way.
• Take a walk around some of the town’s nature preserves, ponds and inlets. Photographers and plein air painters will have a field day!
• Hit up some of the local farm stands and celebrate the delicious seasonal fruit and vegetable bounty…I don’t think I’m alone when I say this, but it truly is a favorite summer pastime out here!
• And don’t forget to check out the Inn’s morning breakfast spread, which has been rated as one of the best breakfasts in the Hamptons.

So with that said…keep me posted on your hamptons adventures. I hope you enjoy it out East as much as I do.

“Dopamine is released whenever we try something new, so just changing up your routine can give a boost. Whether it’s taking an alternate route for your run, switching the time of day to do yoga, or listening to different mussy, keep it fresh.” – San Diego Sports psychiatrist Michael Lardon, MD, author of Finding Your Zone

Surf Lessons in Montauk + Aloha Surf School

As many of you know, I am a long-time New York City resident currently residing downtown with my husband. After graduating from the University of Virginia over a decade ago, I moved directly to New York City. I love this city. I am also an enthusiastic ocean, sun and sand lover. I was raised on the coast of Connecticut, and so the beach has always been a special place for me. I have been summering in the Hamptons for over a decade. This summer I am spending an extended season at “The End” of Long Island – in Montauk, New York. I’m sure many of you are familiar with Montauk. For those of you who aren’t, just think of a place where all activity revolves around a casual vibe, surfing, bike riding, surfing, beach bonfires, surfing, beautiful sunsets, surfing and fun. Notice a theme here?

One of my goals this summer, then, has GOT to involve learning how to surf. I have befriended an instructor named John Kelly from Aloha Surf School who spends the majority of the year on the North Shore of Oahu with an extended summer season in Montauk. John has promised to get me off of the ENORMOUS foam “cadillac board” I am riding by the end of July (I of course am giving myself until mid August).

Anyhoo, for those of you looking to get outside this summer and challenge yourself to try something new, please consider hoping in the salt water. Honestly, no mater what kind of day you are having, a swim in the ocean seems to settle everything down and put life back in perspective. The salt water is truly amazing.

As a long-time (dare I say it) boogie boarder since spending my early childhood summers split between Connecticut and California, I somehow missed the get-on-the-surfboard bandwagon. Oh well. It’s never to late to learn something new. And this year. “Montauk-ians” (that’s definitely not a word, but it just feels right here) don’t much love boogie boarding for anyone over (or so it seems) five years of age. I mean EVERYONE surfs! It’s amazing. I saw one woman with a three-month old this weekend rock out on her long board in a surf lesson (while her husband watched the older son and the baby). Your parents, your grandparents, your brother, your sister, your cousin….yup everyone is out in the water praying for a great wave day. I won’t even talk about the gratuitous surf-ness being rocked by the younger boys and girls – you can just assume they are awesome…’cause they are. They take out their super short boards, even on days when there are the smallest of waves (supposedly you’re supposed to have a long board on these days!). Everyone prays for “double-overHEAD” days…right now I’m loving the “double-overTOE” days.

Join me this summer. Take a surf lesson. Invite your friends for the fun and to help share the cost. You’ll have a blast. And if you’re out in Montauk at Ditch Plains give me a shout out and ring up John Kelly at Aloha Surf School (631-377-6808) – for a super awesome day. Trust me, he has all students standing and riding a wave by the second set of waves he takes you out in. I’ve both experienced and seen it achieved by others.

….And don’t forget to let me know how it goes.

Aloha.

“Even when life does not take us where we expect to go and those around us are not always who we expect them to be, we can still participate fully in life. We can also be of service and in doing so we not only help others, but we immediately generate within ourselves our own sense of peace, joy and well being.” – Elisabeth J. Neuse

Over the last year, I have found great joy in trying new activities. One activity I have really enjoyed learning more about is yoga – there are so many forms and so many different experiences to be tried and enjoyed. The studio where you practice, as well as the teacher with whom you practice can also have an tremendous impact. Participating in a new YogaWorks studio which recently opened up in my neighborhood has allowed me to explore both the physical as well as the mental practice of yoga as well as the happiness that has come from meeting so many wonderful people. Elizabeth Neuse is one such person. Elizabeth is a private therapeutic and vinyasa yoga instructor here in New York City. In addition to her instruction here in New York, she hosts rejuvenation retreats, and maintains a wonderful and inspirational blog. She recently shared this passage on her blog and gave me permission to share it with you here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Many thanks again, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth writes…

Swan Song

During a trip home to St. Louis this past weekend I spent 3 days running around, as always, visiting all the people I love who still live there. I came in, as I often do, with a sense of anxiety about certain family dynamics and situations that were not the way I wanted or expected them to be, but I promised myself I would stay open to just being with people in the most loving way I could. And in doing so I was able to connect in a different way, to see things not as I wanted them to be, but as they really were.

On my last evening I visited my mother and her very new husband in their very new apartment, which overlooks a retention pond. My mother showed me around the small, opulently decorated space, the eighth place she had lived in as many years, and I thought about how weird it was that after all that moving she ended up living 2 miles from my dad in a place one-twelfth the size of the last place she lived with him. “This is all the space anybody really needs,” she commented, mixing her first evening cocktail- vodka, turned pink by a splash of cranberry juice.

As she splashed and mixed I asked her if she’d made any friends in the complex. “Well, one,” she said. “Her name is Swany, at least that’s what I call her. She lives down in the pond. Come on, let’s go visit her.” She grabbed her cocktail, her new husband and a sleeve of Saltines and we all went down to the pond to see Swany. On the way there my mom told me that Swany’s wings had been clipped so that she couldn’t fly up above the high stone walls of the pond and leave, but that she had her own little island in the middle of the pond and a swan hut where she slept during inclimate weather.

“She must be lonely out there with no other swans around,” I said. My mom agreed, but explained that Swany had appointed herself caretaker of a family of geese with five little goslings. She protected them from any other geese that came to the pond, as well as the cheeky muskrats that swam up and tried to eat the mother’s eggs and the babies when they first hatched. Now that the goslings were bigger she had taken to leading them around the pond single file in search of food.

When we walked up to the edge, they made a bee line over to us, Swany leading the gaggle. But when we threw the crackers in, as my mom predicted, Swany didn’t touch them. She let every gosling have more than their share before she took one cracker for herself. Even the mother and father geese snatched crackers from the little ones, but not Swany. She waited, elegantly, peacefully, understanding that there would be enough for everyone including her when it was her turn.

After the geese finished eating, as instructed by my mom, I nervously leaned over the edge with a cracker between my fingers, while my mom reminded me of the time I fell into my grandparent’s winterized pool and she had to jump into the freezing slime and save me. Swany swam to the edge and mustered all the momentum she could from her clipped wings to get high enough to take the cracker from my hand. I squealed as she playfully snatched it and then plopped down into the water again, nibbling and wiggling her tail feathers in delightful gratitude. She and the geese followed us around the entire pond until the next group of humans came to see them and she had to perform her protective duties again.

That evening I recognized in Swany, as Ram Dass would say, my guru in drag. She was placed somewhere that she probably did not want to be, with none of her kind around and no real chance for escape. But instead of becoming a stereotypically cantankerous old swan, she decided to become a bodhisattva, the selfless servant to a family that was not her own, to protect them from harm and help them thrive.

Swany, reminded to me that even when life does not take us where we expect to go and those around us are not always who we expect them to be, we can still participate fully in life. We can also be of service and in doing so we not only help others, but we immediately generate within ourselves our own sense of peace, joy and well being.

When the goslings get older, the whole family will probably leave Swany and fly south for the winter. I’m not sure how old she is or if she will survive the cold, but if she does, I bet she will keep supporting the unfolding of life in whatever form it comes to her.

Namaste,
EJ Neuse

Anxiety is a killer. You can’t stop worrying about every little thing. You can’t sleep. You’re in a tough spot.

Cut down on the worry with help from Pure Yoga instructor and former competitive mountain biker, Scott Harig. As a former competitor, Scott knows a thing or two about anxiety and an anxious mind – especially before a big race.

Here are Scott’s tips to keep an anxious mind in check.

Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh Page. A short and simple read that really relates to living without stress and anxiety.

The breath is the most important part to a calm sense of self. So often we forget how to breathe and it becomes sporadic causing the heart rate to rise and the anxiety to kick in even worse. Here is an exercise: Try putting on a heart rate monitor and sitting down. Then start to breathe really fast and then really slow and watch your heart rate rise and fall. There is a powerful breath that we use in yoga called Ujjayi breath. This breath is extremely calming as well as warming. To do this breath you would breathe with an aspirate sound through your nose towards the back of the throat (almost like trying to mist a mirror with your breath). You would release the breath in the same fashion for the exhales as well. This breath is a continuous, yet slow, method of breathing. If done correctly it will – without doubt – calm you and your heart rate down.

Build on the above calming breathing techniques with some calming yoga poses. Three such poses that I would recommend would include Shoulder Stand, Head Stand and Spread Leg Forward Fold.

Learn more about Scott Harig

Stop and visit Scott at Pure Yoga in New York City which was recently named “Best Yoga Studio in 2010″ by New York Magazine. This studio is an oasis for weary and tired minds. Privates with Scott are also available upon request. For more information and for a look at upcoming retreats and workshops with Scott, please reach him at intouchyoga.com. (There is a workshop he is hosting at the Kripalu center for yoga and health in October that I’m already eyeing!)

I wanted to share this loving passage as we head into a long, celebratory weekend with loved ones, family and friends.

This sage advice was given to me by a loving yogi and much adored relationship therapist Susan Twiggs. This beauty is also my mother-in-law. She has been such inspiration to me. After all, true happiness is achieving peace and satisfaction in body, mind and soul.

Thank you Sue!





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Sue writes…
May is the month of anniversaries in our family. Added together, Mom and I have each been married a total of 95 years. Mom is widowed twice and married currently for nine years and I recently celebrated my 37th year of marriage. Having a long-term relationship suits us both. Mom and I collected our combined wisdom to offer you these suggestions for an enduring relationship.

1. Be kind. Kindness and consideration are the cement of a marriage. Avoid using kindness to persuade your partner to do what you’d rather not. Let your kindness be without conditions.




2. Never go to bed angry. Work out your disagreements as quickly as possible. Grievances that stay hidden fester and infect a marriage. Grievances that are aired and resolved make a marriage stronger.




3. Accept your partner for the person they are. We often consider ourselves experts in character redesign. If only he’d listen, he’d learn. A strong relationship encourages each spouse to develop and grow into the person they choose to be.




4. Choose well. My father-in-law told my husband when he was a teen, “Look at the mother, that’s your future.” While we are not exactly our parents, genetics and how we are nurtured play an important part.




5. Be a whole person. Your spouse cannot complete you. Two whole people bring strength and confidence to a marriage. I am a stronger partner if I love and take care of myself.




6. Talk about money and learn how to spend wisely. Most marital arguments revolve around money—how to have enough. Develop a saving and spending plan with your spouse and stick to it.




7. Have fun. No matter how busy your lifestyle, take time to have fun as a couple. Plan a date night once a week. Schedule a weekend away each season. Take time to renew your relationship and rediscover why you fell in love.




8. Say and show your love daily. The human body craves touch. There are different ways to express love. Some of us enjoy receiving gifts, some enjoy time spent with their partner. Ask what would mean the most and then do it. An interesting read about the styles of love is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.




9. Listen. I worked as a therapist for twenty years. My clients rarely needed my advice. Once they talked the problem out, they came up with their own solution. Timing is crucial. Set a time to talk and mostly listen.




10. Be reliable and do what you say you will. Trust is built slowly over time. The best way to build trust is by being honest. Treat your spouse as you would your oldest and dearest friend.

I begin each day with gratitude for my family. My children learn how to love by watching what I do. I choose my words knowing that my relationship is a model for them when they too fall in love.


Susan Twiggs teaches yoga for The Karuna Yoga Studio in Marshfield, Wisconsin. Classes are just starting. For more information check out www.karunayogastudio.com.

Exercise studies here, exercise studies there. It gets confusing sometimes. When weighing the benefits of exercise, consider more than weight loss. Consider how good it feels to be outside in the fresh air and how good you feel after a little sweaty movement. We all have days when we don’t feel like going to a spin class or a yoga class. But once we get ourselves there and through the class, we are so thankful that we went. Eat as healthy as you can, by incorporating lots of fresh vegetables and leafy greens, and then compliment a healthy diet with some exercise. Your muscles, including your heart, will be stronger. Rich, oxygenated blood will have a greater capacity to clean your cells and tissues and organs and remove debris from your system which may be weighing on your energy and happiness levels.

This article from the New York Times, entitled “How Much Should You Exercise” is a reminder that without a healthy diet it’s difficult to achieve the results we are often looking for through exercise alone. And it also points out that without exercise to compliment a healthy diet we may be cheating ourselves from reaching our full potential.