Green Lemonade

I wanted to share this loving passage as we head into a long, celebratory weekend with loved ones, family and friends.

This sage advice was given to me by a loving yogi and much adored relationship therapist Susan Twiggs. This beauty is also my mother-in-law. She has been such inspiration to me. After all, true happiness is achieving peace and satisfaction in body, mind and soul.

Thank you Sue!





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Sue writes…
May is the month of anniversaries in our family. Added together, Mom and I have each been married a total of 95 years. Mom is widowed twice and married currently for nine years and I recently celebrated my 37th year of marriage. Having a long-term relationship suits us both. Mom and I collected our combined wisdom to offer you these suggestions for an enduring relationship.

1. Be kind. Kindness and consideration are the cement of a marriage. Avoid using kindness to persuade your partner to do what you’d rather not. Let your kindness be without conditions.




2. Never go to bed angry. Work out your disagreements as quickly as possible. Grievances that stay hidden fester and infect a marriage. Grievances that are aired and resolved make a marriage stronger.




3. Accept your partner for the person they are. We often consider ourselves experts in character redesign. If only he’d listen, he’d learn. A strong relationship encourages each spouse to develop and grow into the person they choose to be.




4. Choose well. My father-in-law told my husband when he was a teen, “Look at the mother, that’s your future.” While we are not exactly our parents, genetics and how we are nurtured play an important part.




5. Be a whole person. Your spouse cannot complete you. Two whole people bring strength and confidence to a marriage. I am a stronger partner if I love and take care of myself.




6. Talk about money and learn how to spend wisely. Most marital arguments revolve around money—how to have enough. Develop a saving and spending plan with your spouse and stick to it.




7. Have fun. No matter how busy your lifestyle, take time to have fun as a couple. Plan a date night once a week. Schedule a weekend away each season. Take time to renew your relationship and rediscover why you fell in love.




8. Say and show your love daily. The human body craves touch. There are different ways to express love. Some of us enjoy receiving gifts, some enjoy time spent with their partner. Ask what would mean the most and then do it. An interesting read about the styles of love is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.




9. Listen. I worked as a therapist for twenty years. My clients rarely needed my advice. Once they talked the problem out, they came up with their own solution. Timing is crucial. Set a time to talk and mostly listen.




10. Be reliable and do what you say you will. Trust is built slowly over time. The best way to build trust is by being honest. Treat your spouse as you would your oldest and dearest friend.

I begin each day with gratitude for my family. My children learn how to love by watching what I do. I choose my words knowing that my relationship is a model for them when they too fall in love.


Susan Twiggs teaches yoga for The Karuna Yoga Studio in Marshfield, Wisconsin. Classes are just starting. For more information check out www.karunayogastudio.com.